Recently a reader reached out to ask if I was okay. She was worried that I might be “wandering around on a mesa somewhere.” I was touched by her concern. I’ve been meaning to write to all of you! So much has happened.
Here’s a recap (with links to many posts) and an update (why we changed our plans and what we’re doing now).
The Big Blue Adventure That Went According to Plan
When Doug and I left our home in northern Virginia on October 1, 2021, we intended to be on the road for a year. Big Blue took us west at a good clip and we met our first big goal — after a quick stop in the Badlands of South Dakota, then a snow delay in Cody, we arrived in Yellowstone during the cold weather when the bison come down into the geyser basins. (Who could have guessed that some eight months later devastating floods would change the Gardiner River and surrounding roads forever!)
After that first snowy week, when our generator failed, we headed south to warmer parts. After getting the generator repaired, we spent six weeks visiting the five National Parks in southern Utah —
Arches, Canyonlands, Capitol Reef, Bryce,
Zion, where we hiked Angels Landing, plus Hovenweep, Natural Bridges NM, Grand Staircase Escalante and Petrified Forest SP.
We spent Thanksgiving at Lake Mead, then a week in Las Vegas, which was the low point of the trip, as Doug had dental emergencies. We made arrangements to have the dental work done in Reno, during our Christmas visit with his mother. We stopped at Valley of Fire SP, and Pahranagat NWR, wound our way up to Great Basin NP, then headed straight west on
Highway 50, the Loneliest Road in America, across the heart of Nevada.
We arrived in Reno amid record-breaking snowfall. For about a month we stayed in various RV parks in knee-deep snow on the edge of the Sierras. Fortunately I had booked an Air Bnb for the week our daughters spent with us, and they were able to fly in and out without problem. It was great to be warm and cozy and all together.
What Was Supposed to Happen Next
Doug and I had a reservation in the Grand Canyon in mid-February — to take a two-night mule trip to the bottom of the canyon. From there we intended to head to Quartzsite, AZ, where thousands of people spend the winter in RVs in the desert.
Then Our Daughter Needed Us
Even before we connected with our daughters at Christmas, we realized that our plans needed to change. Hannah has some overlapping health issues and had decided to have two surgeries that would hopefully address her chronic pain. Of course we were disappointed to cancel our plans, but that was trifling compared to our desire to be supportive to Hannah.
Since we only drive some 150 miles a day in Big Blue, it would take us a couple of weeks to cross the country. We headed home soon after our Reno rendezvous.
The Untold Big Blue Adventures Heading Home
The blizzard conditions along the route home forced us to spend a few days, including New Year’s Eve, in Carson City, where we enjoyed soaking in the hot springs. A bit further south, close to the California border, we were relieved to be out of the snow, only to get stuck in soft sand along a lake shore. Thanks to the kindness of strangers, we got free. On the way to Death Valley we detoured to find a remote hot spring. We had the place all to ourselves, and spent the night.
Then we descended into Death Valley, which was gorgeous and the perfect temperature in January. We spent a week hiking and exploring Death Valley, then headed to Flagstaff, AZ to reconnect with a high school friend whom I hadn’t seen in more than 40 years.
In Flagstaff we hopped on Route 66 to cross a few states, stopping in Winslow, AZ, Albuquerque, NM, Oklahoma City, Tulsa, OK and Little Rock, AR.
After doing city things in Little Rock, including a tour of the State Capitol Building and a fabulous spur-of-the-moment Elton John concert, we felt quite done with cities. I felt guilty to bypass Memphis, but we opted to stay in Tennessee State Parks until we turned north toward home. It turns out that Big Blue is not the right rig for city driving and camping.
I haven’t written up these adventures, and may never get those posts done — unless you give me a reason to do it. Let me know which post is worth writing up! Click over to this question, and let me know which adventure you’d like to read about next.
Then A Church Called
We arrived home on February 10. I’d mentioned on Facebook that I was headed home, so it wasn’t long before church friends asked me to preach and lead a retreat, which I was happy to do.
Hannah had surgery to remove adhesions (a complication of endometriosis) on February 21, and a spinal surgery (cervical, neck) on April 5. I was literally in the hospital at Hannah’s bedside when I got a call from a church that had a bigger ask. Would I consider serving as their Interim Pastor for a few months?
I’ll admit that my theology of call is strong, meaning that I assume God has some purpose each time I’m called to an opportunity. I weigh each request seriously. Still, my immediate reaction was to say No.
Doug and I were hoping to get back on the road in Big Blue by October of 2022 (yes, right about now). However, within days of Hannah’s cervical surgery we glimpsed how successful it had been. We knew there would most likely be a second spinal surgery, for her lumbar (low back). And I reckoned that if we were in town to support Hannah, I was also available to serve this church. So I signed a contract to serve the Leesburg Presbyterian Church from July through November.
An Aside about the Rhythm of an Egalitarian Marriage
Doug and I have always had an egalitarian marriage. Not only have we consciously stepped away from gendered roles, but we’ve attempted to be roughly parallel in our careers. We’ve moved to pursue opportunities for his career, and we’ve moved for mine. Doug has been our daughters’ primary caregiver, and so have I. Attempting to be egalitarian has affected our lives in very specific ways — the number of years we’ve worked, the salaries and pensions we’ve earned, the opportunities we’ve been able to seize. My writing has been a bit of a wild card because it demands so much time and earns so little. Still, I felt called to write all three books, and Doug has been completely supportive.
All that to say — at this point in our lives it feels completely natural for Doug to be Hannah’s primary person. Not a day goes by without him driving her to a medical appointment, fixing her a meal, or tending to her needs in some way.
At this writing, Hannah is nearly two weeks out from her lumbar surgery and her recovery is going well. We are all hopeful that she may have less chronic pain going forward.
What a blessing it’s been for Doug and I to reap the benefits of a lifetime developing this rhythm. We are able to simultaneously meet Hannah’s needs and I am able to pour my time and energy into ministry for another season. (You can download the church’s just-published Fall Newsletter here.)
I Collaborated on a #MeTooReckoning Workshop
About a year into the pandemic lockdowns (spring of 2021), I collaborated with a colleague, Dr. Eileen Campbell-Reed, to help church leaders respond to sexual abuse. Many people wanted to respond effectively but felt they lacked tools. Together Eileen and I created an online workshop based on my book. We ran the workshop for four Sundays and were impressed with how the participants interacted with the material. Now we’ve turned the material into a course that you can take at your own pace. It’s video based, with tons of written resources. Read more here.
Do You Want to Help Create a More Just, Healing & Equitable World?
I’m always grateful that people want to create a world that is more just, healing, and equitable for all. If you’re that person, this course will give you the tools you need to address the serious problem of sexual abuse in faith communities.
I hope you’ll check out the #MeTooReckoning Workshop here and purchase it here.
I’d Love to Hear from You!
As always, I hope you are well — I’d love to hear from you. We will soon begin planning our next Big Blue Adventure. Where should we go?